First off - sorry for the radio silence over the last few weeks. I've been doing some serious thinking that I wasn't yet ready to discuss, but which was also distracting enough that I had no idea what else to write instead.
Big Decision Time
I've decided to get on with job hunting. I'm not shutting down The Silver Hide - I'm not quite ready to give up on it yet! - but I am going to be focussing on finding a regular source of income for a while. As part of that, I'm going to stop trying for weekly updates here on the blog, probably settling to monthly updates unless it turns out I can find something relevant to write about more often!
Now, this has come about due to a combination of things which I feel like explaining, so here goes:
Back when I started the business in April last year, I told my partner that if I hadn't achieved a regular monthly income by the end of a year then he'd have every right to tell me it was time to reconsider things and get a job. Now, as I've mentioned in previous posts it hasn't exactly been smooth sailing this last year - largely due to unforeseen mental storms and pirates and krakens (to stick to the 'smooth sailing' theme). We've talked about the business and my options a few times since the start of the year, and it's generally been me starting those conversations.
In addition to the above, we've started house hunting. We both feel it's about time we had a place of our own, and the idea certainly has support from both sets of parents who seem to share the 'housing market? Get into it as soon as you can afford to' attitude.
Now this is all well and good, but Brighton is by no means a cheap area to live in, and due to me being in my first year of self employment I am unable to contribute financially to a mortgage (as far as I can find out, you need a minimum of two years records to present, of which they take an average net profits value to assess your contribution to the mortgage calculations). So that means it's all on Dom's shoulders. This... does not sit well with me. I really don't like the idea of not being able to help out with the business of paying for the house I'm going to be living in. I can cope with not necessarily being on the actual mortgage paperwork, but if I can't even help with the monthly bills and things like buying furnishings... well then it's not really my house at all.
Put 'em Together:
So. It's been nearly a full year since I started up The Silver Hide, and the business is not yet providing any significant or stable monthly income at a time when that is exactly what I need. Add to that the fact I'm really not confident of my chances to achieve any significant immediate change to the situation with my current range of stock and designs... and finding a job just makes sense.
It's scary, and a little disheartening, but also pretty logical. The thought of hunting a job in Brighton with what I see as a rather weak skill set (quite possibly the old anti-self-confidence demons talking) amidst all the potential competition out there is... horrifically daunting. Especially since I have no intention of just grabbing the first shelf stacking job that comes along (because I always have been, and probably always will be something of a stubborn old goat regarding job preferences). I want to get into something solid that uses my brain and has good potential for advancement. Preferably also something transferable, just in case we eventually lose hope of ever finding a house we can actually afford in the surrounding area and have to move to Scotland or something.
This probably means trying to get some sort of junior position or an internship, as I really don't know that I currently have the skills for anything that's available and ticks all the boxes. On the one hand this has me thinking 'oh good gods what have I gotten myself into now?!' and on the other hand I'm thinking something more along the lines of 'wheeee! Adventure time!'. At least the latter option feels positive.